Our precious baby girl is now 1 month old! As I sit here typing out my latest blog (and first one in nearly a month!) our sweet little Gabrielle is curled up sleeping sound on the sofa right next to me. I still can hardly believe she is real....that she is really here and part of our family. She is just so perfect - a perfect fit into our lives. A perfect gift from God!
"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." James 1:17 (ESV)
It has not been easy to figure out what our new "normal" is going to be - as it is with any new mom, of course! - but I think we are really close to getting there. This past week I have been able to get back to some sort of workout schedule and with the beautiful weather I have been able to start jogging with Gabby in the jog stroller (and usually Parker on his bike being our "pace setter"). I am so thankful for this. The first few weeks it was just so hard learning how to function being so sleep deprived that I really didn't want to get off the couch until at least noon. I understand that is the case for most new moms (certainly was for my first three!), but I felt so guilty and ridiculous having not actually given birth yet still feeling like I needed to lay around so much. I think my body was just really struggling with the lack of rest at first. Somehow it seems like I am finally starting to adjust. It wasn't all bad, though...spending that time holding my baby girl, bonding with her, has been priceless! For several weeks nearly every morning was spent just me and Gabby getting to know each other and I was totally falling head over heels in love.
It seems like Gabrielle is finally starting to fall into a pattern with her sleep and her day, too. Now at nearly 5 weeks old she is spending more time awake and interacting with me. She is amazing....she just stares at me with those beautiful blue eyes listening to everything I say to her, I sing to her and pray with her. She is such an amazing little person. I am so humbled by the amazing grace of my God and how he would trust the life of this incredible little girl to us. Trust her to me, to Derek and to each of our boys! What an incredible responsibility and blessing!
Of course, bringing a newborn into your home comes with many adjustments for everyone. I was most nervous for my boys and how this may affect their lives. While all three were very excited and "on board" with the adoption from day 1 it's still completing changing the dynamics of our family, as it would for anyone. I did notice the first week that Parker (my baby boy :) was more reserved than normal. He is usually little lover and will give me hugs, kisses and just generally wants to cuddle with me anytime I will have him. I LOVE this about him, but since he is already 5 and I figured time was running out on seeing alot of these things from him. I was sad to think that Gabby coming home had put an abrupt end to it. It seemed like Parker immediately decided he was now a big brother like Max and Tanner and he was going to act the part. Well, thank God it didn't last long and my little guy is back to "normal" - hugging, kissing and cuddling mommy again! :) Parker is the one who spends the most time at home with Gabby and me since he is only in preschool a few hours a week. He helps me with her baths always grabbing her towel for me, getting me wash cloths and kneeling next to the tub where she stares at him while I soap her up. He talks to her and tells me how much she loves her baths because "girls like to be clean" :) Parker is constantly asking if he can help change her diaper - of course bolting out of the room if it is anything more than wet!
Max has jumped in and been so helpful with Gabby. Her arrival has brought out this really mature side of Max that is amazing. If he sees that I need to get something done he offers to hold Gabby or feed Gabby for me. If she is fussing in her swing or in her crib he will ask if he can give her a pacifier or turn some music on or a mobile going for her. He is always the first to try and soothe her. He really cares for her well being and can't stand to see her in any discomfort for even a second.
Tanner, my oldest son, is very interested in everything about her day. He loves to help me get her dressed and just loves to see how cute she looks all dressed up. He gets a kick out of her little shoes and hair bows. We put her in things and just ooh and aah all over her - and always one of us will say "go get the camera!". Tanner enjoys reading all the cards that our friends and family have sent to her and to us. He also enjoys reading books to Gabby while rocking her in the glider in her room.
All three boys have just been amazing with her and really love spending time with her in their own ways. What an incredible blessing!
In her first short month of life, Gabby has had a photo shoot, a dedication to the Lord, a "Welcome Party", spent time getting to know most of her family and many many new friends, attended her first women's bible study group, attended her first "small group" bible study, attended her brother's sporting events, gone on several real estate appointments with mommy and so much more! She has just been a joy through all of it. She just fits so perfectly into our family and we cant imagine our life without her now.
I can't help but to still look at her and wonder "why us?"....what did we do to deserve this incredible gift? We are not special, but we have been given this very special little person. Sometimes those questions are met with answers in my head that we are clearly NOT deserving - how could anyone be deserving of this, least of all us? What I have realized through my bible studies and prayers is that we are human and so we are flawed, but it is our willing hearts and minds that God looks for regardless of how "undeserving" we may be (Proverbs 21:2, 1 Chronicles 28:9, 2 Corinthians 9:8).
We have to step out when He calls us to. We have to be willing to be uncomfortable and change up what we feel like is working just fine. I always say "if it isn't broke don't fix it", but that won't work with God! He is always asking us to step out of what we know and find routine and neat and tidy to do His will. Sometimes we follow and sometimes we pretend we don't hear."God is continuously checking out the heart of man. He is not looking to blame or find fault. He is looking to bless. " ~M. Cortright
I am so thankful for such a gracious and loving Lord that would trust us such a responsibility. I am grateful that this process has given me a reason to write for God's glory and tell the story of an incredible loving and gracious heavenly Father. A Father that equally loves and cares for all of his children and wants everyone to know that He longs to bless them in ways that can't even be numbered. I pray that I am able to walk out God's plan for my life and be the parent He requires me to be to all of our children.
Before I wrap up this blog I want to give some stats on Gabrielle's amazing growth! When she was born she was 7lbs 1.8ozs and about 19 1/2" long (there is some debate on how accurate the length is!). At her first doctor appt (a couple of days after her birth) she was 6lbs 7ozs and 19 1/2". This past week we learned she has grown to 9lbs 7oz and is 20 1/2" long! That is 3lbs in 1 month :) At least now she is finally starting to get some cute little rolls on her legs and arms - they were so skinny when she was born!
"He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His loving kindness toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust."--Psalm 103:10-14
