This is just the beginning!

At the "farmer's market" in our hometown - 2nd weekend home :)

Prior to coming home with Liliana I had felt almost as if the "end goal" was getting to her. Like that would be the climax of these incredible 3 year long adventure we had been on.  I realized pretty quickly though how wrong that thought process was. Well, actually I don't even know that it was something I had consciously thought about, but rather something that just was. Since coming home I have been really overwhelmed by the realization that this is really just the beginning of the adventure. Like everything leading up to bringing Lily home was the warm up or maybe the "huddle" (I have football on the brain! ;)

Well, today is Sunday. Our second Sunday since arriving home and our second church service together as a family. It feels like it has always been this way already. Lily is so easy going and seems to be happy no matter what we are doing as long as she is with us (well, me really still at this point ;) and she is being fed. Seriously, we have to keep snacks in front of her 24/7! :) We had our annual church picnic at RiverTree today and it was a beautiful day. She enjoyed visiting with our church family while we sat outside in a shady spot enjoying plenty of good food :)

Our first Sunday at church as a family

 Lily and me at the church picnic today :)

The last 3 or 4 days have been "good days" for her and today was no exception. She woke up smiling and happy.  She smiled all the way through breakfast and the ride to church and was still smiling when we put her down for her nap. On her "bad" days she is just so stoic and sad. She doesn't want to laugh or smile and much and isn't happy playing or being held or anything. On those days she seems to just want to lay around and stare at her surroundings, but it's not like she is really seeing anything she is looking at. We feel like the "bad" days are the days that she is grieving for all she has lost.
I understand that it may be hard for people to understand how she could be sad considering all she has gained and the kind of need she was living with before. The truth is that she has lost all that she has ever known twice now (when she was left at the hospital presumably by her family at 1 year of age and then when we took her from the orphanage) and that has to be devastating. She may not remember details of these first 3 years of her life as she grows older, but at her age now she certainly knows and remembers what has happened to her in these 2 short years and those events have caused her a lot of pain.  It will take some time for her to realize that we aren't going anywhere and that she can trust that her life will be full of happiness and belonging now and forever. I pray that happens quickly for her.

Since coming home Lily has really made some great leaps forward in her physical abilities!  When we got her in China she would do little more than lay on the floor or sit up and stay in one spot while playing with toys. Each day there she progressed a bit as well, but since coming home we have really watched her blossom.  Today is the 10th day since arriving home and she is just like an entirely different kid in so many ways:)  She now crawls very well (and fast) to anything she wants to get to. We have noticed however, that given the option she wants to walk!  She can't balance well enough to walk without assistance yet, but she "cruises" all over holding onto furniture, walls, etc. This past week I purchased her one of those walker push toys and she has been walking all over that. The hardwood floors make that an easy task for her between on the rooms on our main floor.

This is another ride on toy she spends a lot of time playing with inside :)

This week since arriving home has been full of visitors for Lily.  It has been really nice to have so many people coming to show their love to us and Liliana. I know that it has been instrumental in her growth - love can overcome so much! It is especially exciting to watch her light up when other kids are around. She giggles and smiles watching them run around and play. She loves when they sit down and play next to her. I enjoy watching her study them and their movements. Older children is something she never saw before. She was in a room with only infants in her orphanage so seeing older kids running and playing and talking is all new to her. She clearly loves it :)

Derek and I are both so thankful to all our friends who have been coming by nearly every day since we returned delivering meals and gifts, etc.(and just hanging out and getting to know Lily, too :)  Our boys have been loving the variety of food as we are able to eat on leftovers for several days and usually have several choices for dinner each night. What a blessing it has been to me and Derek to be able to enjoy home cooked meals each night (I expected we would be eating take out nearly every night and was dreading it!).  We have been able to devote the time to playing with the girls and helping the boys with school work, etc. without worrying about preparing a meal. It has been such a great way to ease back into life as we now know it and give our kids the attention they all need right now.  I just can't thank each one of you enough for this!

I have been reading a book over the last week since returning home that was recommended to me by my agency called "Toddler Adoption" by Mary Hopkins-Best. It is a great book and has really opened my eyes to so many things regarding Lily as a toddler who has gone through living in an institution, her healing process and how we can expect her progression to look going forward.  I really only wish I had read this book prior to going to China. I think it would have prepared me a bit more for what I was going to encounter. If you are reading this and will be adopting a toddler (any child 1 year of age or older) I really encourage you to get this book and read it!

Through this process I have already grown so much as a mom, as a person and in my relationship with Christ. And I know there is so much more to come of course! Adoption is a beautiful union for a family to come about from, but it when you are adopting a toddler and maybe especially internationally, I can say it is not for the faint of heart. We have leaned so heavily on the prayers of our family and brothers and sisters in Christ since first getting the file on Lily.  We are continuing to do so as we are now coming face to face with the medical diagnosis that we will be handed over the next few weeks and months with our first appointment at Cincinnati Children's Hospital with her tomorrow morning. My heart is not burdened by this now as it has been in previous weeks and months. I feel very confident about her future and I feel strongly that we are going to witness and absolute miracle in her life. Her heart will be strong, her mind alert and receptive and her future is bright and full of possibilities :)
We are so privileged to be her parents and I am eternally grateful to our Father in Heaven who knew what our family would look like before we ever even dreamed of a family! His plan is always the perfect plan :)

Love,
Jessy


Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 40:29-31
"He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint."