Before I go any further I want to share some pictures that I just received. My agency sent them to me even though they are not of Liliana specifically she is in the background. They were taking pictures of these beautiful baby girls to send to their newly matched adoptive families and they noticed Lily was in the background and wanted to send me some updated pics. I can't get over how skinny her little legs are, though - Gabby's are at least 3 times that size and they are the same age! I just want to get her home and plumped up :)
Lily is in the background here in the over sized white shirt looking right at the camera (the only child who seems to be interested in whatever is going on with those babies!! haha :) I can see that she doesn't miss a thing and seems very quietly aware of what is going on around her. Love her so much :)
In this one she is almost smiling at whoever is standing up and getting the babies attention for the pictures. I love that she is alert and seems to enjoy attention...such a wonderful thing to see in any orphaned child :) On another note - how precious are these babies??!! I could just scoop them all up! So happy for them and their families that will be together soon :)
So after having said all that, It makes me excited to wake up each day just knowing that I am not in control (thank the Lord!) and that God will have amazing things in store for my life every day if I will follow where He tells me to go.
One example of that is the path he recently directed us down for childcare that we had been looking to fill. While I know that we are meant to have ALL these children I also know that I need a little help in with their care in order to stay sane and be the best mother I can be - at least while the girls are so young. :) We really explored hiring a more full time nanny to really be more of a "mother's helper" so that i could be involved with the boy's school still and take Liliana to any doctor's appointments, surgeries, etc. related to her heart or otherwise after she comes home. As we continued to explore the options and what might be right for us I was contacted out of the blue about hiring a Chinese Au Pair. We had considered this option years ago, but have since become much more financially conservative with our spending and thought that might not be something we wanted to put the money out for.
After exploring the costs when compared to an American nanny we realized it really wasn't that much difference so that seemed like it could be an option then. The biggest difference lied in the fact that this girl would be living with us for 1-2 years. To be honest we really didn't have an extra bedroom so we thought that might not really work, but we didn't rule it out completely and instead continued to pray about it. If there is one thing I know for sure it is that even when we can not even imagine a way God can still make a way if it is His will. for a couple of weeks we talked about it as a family, prayed about it and continued to look into all the pros and cons of an Au Pair.
The most exciting part to us of course is the fact that we LOVED the idea that our Chinese speaking two year old would possibly be able to transition into our English world much easier if we had another Chinese speaking person in our home. Derek and I are also learning Mandarin and take classes weekly, but we are certainly not fluent. We know just enough to get in trouble so what a better way to continue learning the language than to live with a native speaking Chinese person?! And we are very adamant about keeping Lily's Chinese culture and heritage a part of her life and integrating it into our family, as well as, making sure she can continue to learn and speak Chinese as well as English. How could we better see to it that all of those things are done? We couldn't think of a better way. But we still had the problem of already having fit 6 people in 5 bedrooms and that was soon to be 7 people in 5 bedrooms...how could be add yet another person - an adult even - that would need there own bedroom? It just wasn't here!
Ah, but God......one evening as we were putting the two youngest boys to bed (Max and Parker) Parker said, "Mom, I would really like it if Max moved back into a room with me again." Max overheard his brother saying this and came running in from his room and said, "yeah, mom, we have talked about it and I don't really need my own room. We are always together playing anyway and Parker has plenty of room in his closet for my clothes." Since we moved into our home last year the boys have had their own rooms but prior to that they had been sharing since Parker was about 2 years old. They had a bunk bed and they had always wanted to be together. Often since moving into this home Max would spend many nights sleeping in Parker's room or Parker would sleep in Max's. Still I couldn't believe what I was hearing...they really wanted to share a room again?! This would mean that we would have a "spare" bedroom again! Even when we don't see a way........
So to make a very long story short; the boys moved into a room together and in the same afternoon I assembled a "spare room" that could be used for an Au Pair. We then began to get pretty serious about looking into that service and began to email and interview (through Skype) Chinese college students and grads that were part of the Au Pair program and waiting to be matched with a family. We decided as we started that we would give the process a chance but if the perfect scenario didn't present itself then we would go back to the drawing board.
It was so surreal - still is! How could we be thinking of adding 2 Chinese girls to our family now?! After a couple of weeks of interviews and messages back and forth we knew we had found the right girl. All of the girls we spoke to were super sweet and all seemed like they would be great, but this girl was The One! I immediately felt a "soul connection" with her. She would later tell us that she felt that same thing. She said she had been praying for the right family and had almost given up hope - even asking God why he had her waiting so long. She felt like maybe she had misunderstood what she was supposed to be doing and maybe this wasn't the right path for her life. That, she said, was the day before she got the email from us and then spoke to us that very evening through Skype. Even when we did not know that we were going to hire an Au Pair God was preparing her for our family and our family for her :)
Her English name is Morgan and she is a 22 year old sophomore in college studying as an English major.
We will meet with her when we go to China to pick up Lily in August (even though we have already offered her the position and she is working on her VISA, paperwork, etc.). She is going to take the 6 hour bullet train ride to the province we will be just so she can meet us face to face and meet Lily. After that she will go to more training in New York City in the beginning of September and move in with our family by mid-September. Just a few weeks after we get home with Lily!
We just feel so blessed to have been given this blessing of yet another Chinese daughter (she says she is excited to be a big sister - JieJie - to our children :) Even if she only lives with us for a year or two I know that we will make a connection with this beautiful girl that will last all of our families lives. As a family these are the things that we hold the most dear - relationships!
I know that we may have to give up some "things" with the adoption of Liliana, but what we will gain is so infinitely more important and powerful. The same will hold true now for adding Morgan (our Au Pair) to the family, but I know that God has big blessings for both her and our family in store from this relationship and I am just so excited about it. If God has called us to it He will walk us through it :)
I want to wrap up by switching gears a little and with a very deep sadness in my heart.....this world lost a very beautiful soul this past week, Crystal Kelley Young. She was my age (we went to school together) and her death came as a sudden shock to her loved ones. She passed away in her sleep.
My heart breaks for her family and for the loss of one of the best, kindest and sweetest people I have ever known. She has been one of the biggest supporters of my family over the last 3 years when we first started the adoption process for China through our adoption of Gabby and most recently upon finding out about Lily. We have had so many touching and heartwarming conversations and I am heartbroken to know that I will not be able to speak with her when we bring Lily home. I do rejoice, though, knowing that she is no doubt in Heaven celebrating with the angels now as I know she loved the Lord with all her heart.
God bless you, Crystal, and keep you until we meet again!
Be blessed,
Jessica
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